Peanut Butter
by bunnycharlotte
Summary: Willow and Spike go to Los Angeles. Angel and Spike get horizontal.
1. PB&J Phobia

  
  
AN: Willow took Spike to L.A.  
  
Spoilers: Orpheus (Angel)  
  
Please review. More reviews= faster writing  
  
Willow walked out of the kitchen, a plate piled high with sandwiches in her hands. "I made PB&J. Who wants some?"  
  
Gunn took two. Fred took half of one, giving Willow a shy smile, and Conner took three, handing one to Cordelia. "I'm not hungry."  
  
"You need to eat."  
  
"Whatever."  
  
Faith took one. "It's bread. Got water to go with it? Or handcuffs?" she looked at Spike as she said that.  
  
"But it's not prison bread! It has jelly, and peanut butter. And it's toasted and cut diagonally. I bet they don't do that in prison."  
  
"Ooh, did I insult the precious PB&J? Forgive me, please."  
  
Willow laughed. "You're forgiven... but you owe me! Spike, want one?"  
  
"Vampires don't eat." Angel, in his all-knowing wisdom, spoke before Spike could.  
  
Poof. I almost would take one, just to shove it up his sodding arse, but then I'd have to touch.. that. He repressed a shudder But it's almost worth it. "Spike?" Willow offered the tray to him.  
  
"Get that bloody rubbish away from me!" he scrambled backwards from Willow, somewhat hampered by the fact that he was going straight backward and he was sitting on a round couch. He landed on his bottom with a loud thump. Willow sighed and set the tray down on Cordelia's desk.  
  
Why didn't she offer me one? Oh, right, I don't eat. But what's with Spike?  
  
"What's wrong with the food?" Faith glared at Spike.  
  
"Nothing. It's just, Idnlikpnbr."  
  
"What?"  
  
"I said, 'Idnlikpnbr.'  
  
"Angel, what's he saying?"  
  
Angel knelt beside Spike. "What did you say? About the sandwiches."  
  
"I don't like peanut butter."  
  
"That's it?"  
  
"I don't like pb the way I don't like holy water."  
  
"Peanut butter burns you?"  
  
"You really did turn into a dork."  
  
Fred turned to Gunn. "Why are they still so close? Is it some sort of sire/childe thing?"  
  
"Fred, you know how Angel always wears black?"  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"And how he's always going out and not telling us about it?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"He's gay."  
  
Angel, having heard their conversation, turned to Gunn at the same time Fred did. "What?" they both said. Spike just laughed.  
  
"Damn! I forgot about that super-hearing."  
  
"What did ya say?" Willow, who didn't have super-hearing, asked.  
  
"He called Angel a poof!" Spike exclaimed. Wesley suppressed a laugh, attempting to turn it into a cough.  
  
"Speak English." Conner complained.  
  
"Poof is a deragatory term for a homosexual." Willow said, sounding angry.  
  
"Only a guy, luv. Don't get your knickers twisted."  
  
"It's still insulting."  
  
"I'm sure Angel'll take it like a man." Faith, Gunn, and Fred laughed at Spike's comment. Gunn looked at Fred, and she smiled at him.  
  
"I'm not a p-" Angel glanced at Willow. "I'm not gay."  
  
"Angel, I though all vampires were bisexual." Wesley said this in his best watcher's voice.  
  
"They are. Angelus here's just worried 'bout his reputation."  
  
"I don't give a damn about my reputation!" Angel looked at Spike as he said this.  
  
"Living in the past it's a new generation!" Willow, Faith, and Spike all sang.  
  
"SHUT UP!" Angel yelled.  
  
"Calm down, Angel. Have a sandwich." Willow admonished.  
  
"I don't eat."  
  
"Then have some blood."  
  
"I - I'm not hungry." The room got a little hushed at that.  
  
Spike knew Angel was brooding, thinking about all the people who were dead because of Angelus. "Angel, it wasn't you." So please don't make us put up with you bleedin' whining for the next ten years.  
  
"It was my hands, my body."  
  
"But it wasn't your fault!" Spike leapt to his feet. "Don't you bloody well get that yet? Angelus did all that rubbish! He was the one who killed those people! You've done nothing but try to make up for it, when it wasn't even your sodding fault! You didn't make Dru, you weren't the Scourge of Europe, you didn't make me, you didn't try to end the bloody world, and you never forced me to have sex with you.!" He turned and ran downstairs.  
  
"Spike..."  
  
Angel stood silent for a moment, then turned and fled upstairs.  
  
"So Angel is gay?" Fred asked Gunn, softly.

Top of Form

Bottom of Form


	2. Things Heat Up

If you find any mistakes or anything, please post a review telling me. I LOVE REVIEWS!! They make me post happy.  
  
Faith rolled her eyes. "That still not open? God, you'd think after a hundred years a guy could learn to spread 'em. Metaphorically speaking."  
  
"Bloke never would do that. Not metaphorically speaking."  
  
"Cheekbones, could you not talk that way in front of the kids? Or me?" Lorne asked.  
  
"I'm not a kid!" Conner whined.  
  
"Shut up, brat." Faith commanded.  
  
"Yes ma'am."  
  
Spike looked at Willow and made a 'whipped' motion. She giggled, and covered her mouth when everyone turned to look at her. Cordy rolled her eyes. "Look, we all know Angel has a stake up his ass about Angelus. Spike just pushed it in a little farther."  
  
"Cordelia, I do believe that is the most disgusting thing I have ever pictured."  
  
"I'm with Wes." Faith said, giving Wesley a hesitant smile.  
  
"I'm not, but bloody hell, can you not talk like that. Disturbs even me."  
  
"Excu-use me."  
  
"Just don't let it happen again." Lorne said.  
  
Willow picked up the sandwiches. "Spike, would you come help me clean up the kitchen?"  
  
"But I didn't-" seeing Willow's expression, he broke off. "Fine." He trailed her into the kitchen. She set the sandwiches down and began wrapping them with plastic wrap. "So, what do you wanna talk about?" Spike said in a low voice.  
  
"Angel seemed pretty upset for being the posterchild of stoicism."  
  
"Yeah. Soddin' bugger."  
  
"Spike. I think you should apologize."  
  
"For what?"  
  
"For bringing up something that you know insults him."  
  
"I'm not apologizing to him." Spike yelled.  
  
"Sh. And you will, too, or I'll leave you here."  
  
"I'll go GTA on LA and come back to Sunnydale."  
  
"In chains."  
  
"Chains are breakable."  
  
"Magic chains."  
  
"I'll say you've gone evil."  
  
"No one will believe you."  
  
"Faith-"  
  
"Is feeling slightly grateful I'm practicing."  
  
"Witch."  
  
"Hush or I'll turn you into a frog."  
  
"I don't believe you."  
  
"Is that a challenge?"  
  
"No. It's showing that I know about your frogphobia."  
  
"Oh, right. Okay then, a kitten."  
  
Spike gasped, putting his hand to his heart, "No! Not a kitten!"  
  
Willow giggled. "Yep. I think you'd make an adorable kitten."  
  
"Nah. I'd scratch and mark my territory."  
  
"An adorable neutered kitten."  
  
"Anything but that! Name your price, my lady." He raised his eyebrows. "I am yours to command."  
  
Willow rolled her eyes. "Anything I want?"  
  
"Anything you want."  
  
"Okay. Go apologize to Angel."  
  
"Anything but that."  
  
"Spi-ike you promised, well, not in the sense of saying 'I promise' but you *said* 'anything'."  
  
"I thought it was obvious I didn't mean that."  
  
"Okay. I'll make you another offer."  
  
"What?" Spike asked warily.  
  
"Have a sandwich."  
  
"I'm going upstairs now."  
  
"Good. And I will make you sure you apologized."  
  
"Bloody hell." He exited the kitchen, gave Cordy the two-fingered salute for the odd look he was getting from her, licked his lips when Faith winked at him, and ignored everybody else. He thumped up the stairs two at a time. He walked down the hall to Angel's room, mumbling under his breath about 'poof' and 'nancy' things the entire time. He reached the door and paused, debating on whether or not he should knock. "Bugger this." He tried to push the door open, but it was locked. He grinned and quickly twisted the knob, breaking it open. He stepped inside and shut the door behind him.  
  
"Spike." Angel was standing at the window, looking out onto the night sky below him, turned so that all Spike could see of him was his back.  
  
"Nancy." Spike nodded.  
  
Angel whirled around. Spike could see the anger on his face. ~Why is he angry? I thought he be up here sobbing his eyes out like the nancy-boy he is.~ Before he had time to think anything else, Angel had crossed the room and thrown him down on the bed, crouching on top of him and holding him down. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"  
  
~What the hell? Did he just say fuck?~ "Did you just say fuck?"  
  
Angel growled. "That's not what I asked."  
  
"Well, I'd have to say that your breath is posing my most serious problem right now."  
  
Angel punched him. "Answer the goddamned question. What. Is. Wrong?"  
  
Spike reached for his nose. Or, he tried to see, but Angel had him pinned. He morphed and snapped his teeth at Angel. "Come on, Angel, let me up." he whined.  
  
Angel punched him again.  
  
"What was that for?"  
  
Angel punched him again, this time morphing out to join Spike. A noise at the door caused both vampires to look towards it. Angel looked down at Spike. "We're going to the basement."  
  
"I'm not going anywhere with you."  
  
Angel dug his knee into Spike's, um, spike. He doubled over as best he could, since Angel was still holding him down. "What was that?"  
  
"I said lead on."  
  
"That's what I thought." Angel hopped off the bed. "I need to do some things. Walk straight to the basement. Don't stop to talk to anyone, don't even look at anyone. Just go to the basement. And don't touch anything when you get there."  
  
Spike glared at Angel, who glared back. He didn't get up. "Whenever you can manage to walk again, that is. But you had better be there when I get down there." He turned and walked to the door. Opening it, he caught Faith and Gunn eavesdropping. He glared at them and Gunn looked back sheepishly why Faith just grinned. Angel shouldered past them and headed for the kitchen.  
  
When he reached it, Willow was still inside cleaning up. "Did he apologize?"  
  
"He will."  
  
"Angel, what are you going to do?"  
  
"What makes you think I'm going to do anything? Where's the peanut butter?"  
  
"In the cabinet next to the refrigerator. You look like you're going to do something."  
  
Angel got the peanut butter, two chocolate bars and a container of Nutella out of the cabinet. "What's so wrong with doing something?"  
  
"It depends on what something is."  
  
"Willow, you trust me, right?"  
  
"Of course."  
  
"So what's with the inquisition?" "I just know how you and Spike get along not at all and I don't want you doing something you'll regret." "I'm not going to regret this." "Angel!" He looked at her and smiled. "Yes?" "That wasn't funny." He got a peach out of the refrigerator and washed it off. "I found it amusing." He pulled a knife from the drawer and shut it. Willow rolled her eyes. Angel gathered his things and moved to the door. Pausing, he gathered a banana from the fruit bowl on the counter. He winked at Willow and headed for the basement. ~Wonder why he's so happy.~  
  
When Spike could walk, he got off of the bed and went to the door. When he passed Gunn and Faith, she said, "I thought you could take him, Blondie. What happened?" Spike ignored her and walked past. ~Isn't she supposed to be on my side?~ When he reached the lobby, he ignored Fred, Cordy, Conner and Lorne's curious stares and walked straight towards the basement. When Spike reached the basement he was surprised by what he saw. ~Huh. There's nothing down here. Or almost nothing.~ Dangling from the ceiling was a pair of manacles. ~I'm beginning to get a bad feeling about this.~ He went over to the manacles and reached up to touch them. They were just out of his reach and he had to stand off his heels to touch them.  
  
"Like what you see?" Spike turned around to see Angel descending the stairs, his arms full. He set the things down on a table Spike hadn't seen.  
  
"What is this?"  
  
"A basement."  
  
"Why are we down here?"  
  
"I want us to be."  
  
Spike crossed over to Angel and punched him, then dropped to the floor, sweeping Angel's legs out from under him. He rolled over and straddled Angel, forcing his hands to the floor with his own. Angel let him. Spike morphed, and bent to Angel's ear. "Are you ready to stop being such an ass?"  
  
"I don't know, are you ready to let me off of mine?" Spike growled and bit his ear. Angel morphed and growled back. He rolled them, and slammed Spike's head on the concrete. "Ask permission before you bite me."  
  
Spike butted his head into Angel's and flipped them over. "In case you haven't noticed, I don't ask permission." He bent down and sucked at Angel's ear. Angel took advantage of Spike's distraction and position to sink his teeth into Spike's neck. Spike drew his head back and roared. Angel brought his fist up into Spike's eye and pushed him off of himself.  
  
The basement door opened and Faith stuck her head in. "What are you doing? I wanna play!"  
  
Angel lifted his head and yelled, "GET OUT!" Faith took one look at his blood-stained mouth and complied, shutting the door behind her. Spike had taken advantage of Faith's distraction to get up and move to Angel. He picked him up by his neck and threw him into the wall. Angel slid to the floor. Spike crossed over to him and drew back a leg to kick him. Angel grabbed the one he was standing on and pulled, knocking Spike onto his back and stunning him slightly from the impact of his head on the concrete. Angel leapt up and dragged Spike over to manacles. He held him up with one arm and fastened them around Spike's wrists. When he released Spike, he had become fully alert and was forced to stand on his toes to stay upright. "Apologize."  
  
"Never." Angel began using Spike as a personal, undead punching bag, raining blows on his face and on his torso, performing highkicks and roundkicks and general kicks on his stomach and legs. By the time he grew tired of his game, Spike had begun to bruise, his eye turning black from Angel's earlier punch, his pale skin turning blue and red, his lips cracked and bleeding. Angel leaned forward and licked the blood from Spike's lips. Spike tried weakly to kick at Angel, but he darted back out of reach.  
  
"Spike. What am I going to do with you?"  
  
"Fuck off."  
  
"Tut tut. Such language. Well, I was planning on doing something like that... but with you involved more. But I think I'm going to need you a little healthier. Hmm." He stepped closer to Spike and tilted his head to one side. He pressed a hand behind Spike's neck and brought his face to his neck. "Drink." Spike didn't move. Angel reached down and grabbed his penis, squeezing painfully hard. "I said 'drink.'" Spike bit into Angel's neck. It wasn't a clean bite; Spike didn't feel like taking the trouble to make two tiny holes. Instead, he ripped into Angel's neck savagely, nipping and dragging his fangs around, enlarging the whole until blood was almost gushing. Angel moaned as Spike began to suck at the wound like a babe at a tit. Spike brought his legs up to Angel's waist and wrapped them around, pulling Angel close to him and pressing his erection into Angel's. Angel felt himself growing weaker and weaker until he was forced to pull away, but Spike's legs held him close. "Spike." No answer. "SPIKE!" Still no answer. Angel went for the tried and true method and reached down to Spike's dick again.  
  
"Bloody hell! I was gonna let go in a minute."  
  
"Right. Um, you just stay here. I forgot to get blood." ~Stay here? Maybe I am turning into a dork.~ Angel turned and walked up the stairs. He shut the door behind him and made for the kitchen, but was bombarded with questions before he could reach it.  
  
"Angel? Did you stake Spike?" (Conner.)  
  
"Can you two try to keep it down?" (Cordelia.)  
  
"Sweetcakes, what *are* you two doing?" (obvious.)  
  
"Why can't I join?" (Faith.)  
  
"You don't look so good." (Gunn.)  
  
"Charles? They aren't, uh, are they?" (again, obvious.)  
  
Angel ignored them all and headed straight for the kitchen. Willow was still inside, washing dishes. "Feeling regretful yet?"  
  
"Never." Willow sighed and turned back to the dishes. Angel went to the fridge and pulled out five blood bags. He bit into the first two without bothering to heat them up, drinking them in seconds. The third he didn't heat up either, but drank slower. When he was done without he had already begun to look a little better, and he threw out the empty bags and carried the remaining two back downstairs with him, continuing to ignore the others.  
  
"What exactly were they doing when you went down there Faith?"  
  
"Little of this, little of that," she answered. Willow walked into the room, soap bubbles still on her hands. Because she was wearing designer clothes Dawn had stolen for her since couldn't afford them, she couldn't wipe her hands on them, so she was forced to just let the bubbles sit there.  
  
"They're doing some kinda sire-childe thing. I didn't ask for details and Angel didn't give them, but none of us should go down there for any reason. And we should ignore any odd noises."  
  
Faith looked at Willow and raised an eyebrow. "Interesting. So, what do you all want to know about sire-child relationships? I'm the expert."  
  
"Actually, that would be me," Wesley said.  
  
"I really don't think we should talk about it, Faith." Willow said.  
  
"Fine, ruin all my fun."  
  
"Yeah, I'm such a stick in the mud." 


End file.
